calibornsmainsqueeze:

trans people taking testosterone need to drink orange juice cause testosterone weakens your immune system!! 

That… makes no sense at all. Orange juice has nothing to do with your immune system. (The people who say otherwise are selling something.)

"

Knackering Molly was, to put it bluntly, insane.

She wasn’t dumb, though. There was a sharp, glittering intelligence inside the insanity that had learned early on that it was much easier to get away with being insane if you were also useful and had a little bit of money, and if people were just a little bit scared of you.

Molly was, like me, a very minor wizard, but her talent was even weirder. She could make dead horses walk.

This may not sound like a very good talent, but if you live in a large city with narrow streets, it’s actually quite handy. Horses are useful animals, but they die like everybody else, and when they’re dead, they’re about a thousand pounds of meat and bone that you have to dispose of before it starts to stink. The knackermen who run the big rendering yards at the edge of town will pay money for the dead horse, but they also charge money to come take it away, and they have to roll a cart in, and the cart takes up space and disrupts traffic and blocks people’s doorways. Then the people loading the horse onto the cart want to get paid, and sometimes they have to start butchering the horse right there if they can’t carry it out and it’s just a horrible business with blood and nastiness everywhere, and the neighbors get very put out.

Or you can go get Knackering Molly, and for sixpence, she’ll put her hand on the horse’s head, and it will stand up and walk to the knackers under its own power. It’s still pretty horrible to watch, but it’s a lot less trouble.

Anyway, you can spot Molly pretty easily. She rides around the city on Nag. Nag’s been dead longer than I’ve been alive, and he’s mostly bones now, so she pads him with rags and straw and old flour sacks. He looks like a magpie nest with hooves.

Plenty of people beat dead horses, but Molly is the only person I know who can ride one.

"

Ursula Vernon (via fuckyeahursulavernon)

This is actually a chunk from a book I wrote which will come out from Dial…at some point. Publishing schedules got a little tangled. But they bought it and they’ve got it and it’ll be out eventually!

(via ursulavernon)

prongsvssquid:

prongsvssquid:

Snow White twist where Snow White is played by a dark-skinned woman with snow white hair

  • another twist: the story focuses on beauty in the context of racial prejudice 
  • the stepmother is white and known as the ‘fairest of them all’ but then this girl with dark skin grows to be more beautiful than her and she doesn’t understand and she doesn’t like it and she is threatened by it
  • you can see where this is going

Six-Gun Snow White by Catherynne M. Valente

(Source: prongsvsdeath)

megan-is-a-doll:

vanquishedvaliant:

morivan:

robothyenawasteland:

jchastain:

othartryggvassen:

lora-does-things:

I got distracted doing my Western Metroid concept art project for school when I was trying to find out Samus’ height. Turns out in some official art for Super Metroid (1994) she’s described as such:

The Power Suit hides a strong, muscular woman. Samus is nearly six feet, three inches tall and weighs nearly 200 pounds.

Then it lists the exact numbers as 6’3” and 198lbs. That’s what’s “hidden” by the suit, not with the suit, as some people on the internet seem to be suggesting. If you look at the illustration, the suit doesn’t add much to her height anyway.
So anyway the point of all this is that Samus is now 5’3” and that sucks. I can’t find where this stat came from but it’s being quoted by several fans online, and if you obsessively compare screenshots from SSBB like I did, you’ll find that it’s accurate to the inch when she’s standing next to the 6’ tall Snake. So that blows. I think the 6’3” Samus seems way more likely to be an ex-soldier turned bounty hunter who pilots a power suit and doesn’t take shit from anyone. Also she’s a babe.
Disclaimer: I haven’t played a game in the Metroid series since the SNES, all knowledge from the internet, take this with a grain of salt.

This is a thing that’s legit been bugging me for a long ass time
This height and weight is still canon, so why in Other M is everyone at LEAST two heads taller?

http://images2.wikia.nocookie.net/__cb20110906100255/metroid/images/7/7a/Samus_PD.jpg
BUILT TO DESTROY

If I’m interpreting my Metroid history/mythology correctly… (and the fact that I’ve played most of them)
Samus was orphaned at a young age and taken in by a highly advanced race of bird-warriors called the Chozo, and fostered on a *LOW-GRAVITY* planet. She was given medicine and nutritional care far in excess of anything the Galactic Federation could offer on any human world or colony. IN ADDITION—these twelve-foot tall, monstrous genome warriors INFUSED HER WITH CHOZO DNA, having absolutely no ethical or moral compulsion against gene therapy (we’re talking about a species so advanced they got BORED of techo-futuristic dwellings and started living in STONE TEMPLES FOR KICKS.)
Young Samus, having no context by which she may protest was totally OK with this and, presumably, underwent weapons training, survival training, and continued gene manipulation INTO HER 20s. I reiterate: the Chozo started treatment on her before puberty, meaning the numbers she reached upon adulthood were probably THE LOW END of what the Chozo assumed they could SAFELY do to ANY HUMAN’S bone density / musculature (on a low-gravity planet) before the results became dangerous outliers in their advanced projections. 
FUTHERMORE (And here we get into Metroid Prime’s mythos), the Chozo were a fatalistic, even nihilistic species who predicted their own downfall through mysticism and scientific analysis. Their records refer to Samus as “The Newborn,” and “The Hatchling,” and as the one predestined NOT to save them, but to bring “wrath,” down upon their enemies. 
The Chozo turned Samus into a gigantic murder machine, gave her a power suit composed of some of the most advanced technology in the known galaxy, and pushed her out the door to work as a bounty hunter for the Galactic Federation under the pretenses of capital gain but really TO TAKE VIOLENT REVENGE ON EACH AND EVERY ONE OF THEIR FOES. They made her into a Space Marine in a setting bereft of anything resembling a Space Marine.
And that, ladies and gentlemen, is why 6’5” is honestly lowballing it on her height (I’d put it at 7’5”, with avian features and crazy pinfeathers everywhere), why Samus is amazing, why devs need to Google human biology better, and why Metroid: Other M is NOT CANON.
And this, game devs, is why you need to sit everyone down on your team and make them watch some youtube videos of the Women’s events in the Olympics, and then put these in everyone’s bookmarks. Your future demographic gains thank you (WITH $$$$$).

Got damn.

#bring back giant muscle murder machine samus pls

I don’t even play this damned game and I’m totally invested in the muscley backstory and headcanon.

megan-is-a-doll:

vanquishedvaliant:

morivan:

robothyenawasteland:

jchastain:

othartryggvassen:

lora-does-things:

I got distracted doing my Western Metroid concept art project for school when I was trying to find out Samus’ height. Turns out in some official art for Super Metroid (1994) she’s described as such:

The Power Suit hides a strong, muscular woman. Samus is nearly six feet, three inches tall and weighs nearly 200 pounds.

Then it lists the exact numbers as 6’3” and 198lbs. That’s what’s “hidden” by the suit, not with the suit, as some people on the internet seem to be suggesting. If you look at the illustration, the suit doesn’t add much to her height anyway.

So anyway the point of all this is that Samus is now 5’3” and that sucks. I can’t find where this stat came from but it’s being quoted by several fans online, and if you obsessively compare screenshots from SSBB like I did, you’ll find that it’s accurate to the inch when she’s standing next to the 6’ tall Snake. So that blows. I think the 6’3” Samus seems way more likely to be an ex-soldier turned bounty hunter who pilots a power suit and doesn’t take shit from anyone. Also she’s a babe.

Disclaimer: I haven’t played a game in the Metroid series since the SNES, all knowledge from the internet, take this with a grain of salt.

This is a thing that’s legit been bugging me for a long ass time

This height and weight is still canon, so why in Other M is everyone at LEAST two heads taller?

http://images2.wikia.nocookie.net/__cb20110906100255/metroid/images/7/7a/Samus_PD.jpg

BUILT TO DESTROY

If I’m interpreting my Metroid history/mythology correctly… (and the fact that I’ve played most of them)

Samus was orphaned at a young age and taken in by a highly advanced race of bird-warriors called the Chozo, and fostered on a *LOW-GRAVITY* planet. She was given medicine and nutritional care far in excess of anything the Galactic Federation could offer on any human world or colony. IN ADDITION—these twelve-foot tall, monstrous genome warriors INFUSED HER WITH CHOZO DNA, having absolutely no ethical or moral compulsion against gene therapy (we’re talking about a species so advanced they got BORED of techo-futuristic dwellings and started living in STONE TEMPLES FOR KICKS.)

Young Samus, having no context by which she may protest was totally OK with this and, presumably, underwent weapons training, survival training, and continued gene manipulation INTO HER 20s. I reiterate: the Chozo started treatment on her before puberty, meaning the numbers she reached upon adulthood were probably THE LOW END of what the Chozo assumed they could SAFELY do to ANY HUMAN’S bone density / musculature (on a low-gravity planet) before the results became dangerous outliers in their advanced projections. 

FUTHERMORE (And here we get into Metroid Prime’s mythos), the Chozo were a fatalistic, even nihilistic species who predicted their own downfall through mysticism and scientific analysis. Their records refer to Samus as “The Newborn,” and “The Hatchling,” and as the one predestined NOT to save them, but to bring “wrath,” down upon their enemies. 

The Chozo turned Samus into a gigantic murder machine, gave her a power suit composed of some of the most advanced technology in the known galaxy, and pushed her out the door to work as a bounty hunter for the Galactic Federation under the pretenses of capital gain but really TO TAKE VIOLENT REVENGE ON EACH AND EVERY ONE OF THEIR FOES. They made her into a Space Marine in a setting bereft of anything resembling a Space Marine.

And that, ladies and gentlemen, is why 6’5” is honestly lowballing it on her height (I’d put it at 7’5”, with avian features and crazy pinfeathers everywhere), why Samus is amazing, why devs need to Google human biology better, and why Metroid: Other M is NOT CANON.

And this, game devs, is why you need to sit everyone down on your team and make them watch some youtube videos of the Women’s events in the Olympics, and then put these in everyone’s bookmarks. Your future demographic gains thank you (WITH $$$$$).

Got damn.

I don’t even play this damned game and I’m totally invested in the muscley backstory and headcanon.

min-min-minnie:

/quietly adds to carlos’ collection of nerdy t-shirts

… I need this shirt.

jathis:

curiouschiroptera:

spacious-infinity:

lovejoyjohnlock:

daniel-rosenfeld:

sunbleached-jacket:

c-a-bergamot:

redbloodedamerica:

liberallogic101:

#CommonCore This is how the Government gets the unemployment rate.

What. The. Fuck. Is. This. Shit.

what “progressive” education in america is turning into.

THE FUCK’S THIS SHIT

what the hell is that supposed to even mean? I had to read over the explanation twice, and I’m taking algebra 2. 

I’m taking fucking Calculus and I don’t get what the teacher is trying to do.

8+5=13. You can’t take 2 out of 5 and have 3 left over and just sitting in the side with nowhere to go. Math doesn’t work like that. AND, MR OR MRS TEACHER, YOU CERTAINLY CAN’T ADD 3 TO 8+2 BECAUSE YOU STILL GET 13

YOU ALREADY DID 8+2=10 YOU GOT 10 WHY DO YOU ADD 3?! YOU WON’T HAVE 10 ANYMORE YOU’LL HAVE 13

WHICH IS WHAT 8+5 IS SUPPOSED TO FUCKING EQUAL

GODDAMMIT

This is some serious Nineteen Eighty-four 2+2=5 bullshit right here.

What the heck is this test-maker even trying to accomplish?

I am so confused

Why? It says right there — make 10 while adding 8+5.

8 - 3 = 5

5 + 5 = 10 <— this is the answer to the question

10 + 3 = 13 <—- this is the answer to the equation, which you get by breaking the big, awkward number (8) into small, manageable numbers (3 and 5).

Essentially all that’s going on is 8 + 5 = 3 + 5 + 5 = 10 + 3 = 13. 

Easy.

and now, the weather.

Via

"What’s with all those llamas?"

"You mean Alpacasso?"

"Yeah."

"They’re adorable!"

"But are they from something?"

"Look at those faces!"

"I mean, why is everyone obsessed with them all of a sudden?"

"It’s so cute!"

"… I want one."

(Source: otakumode.com)

Hello! We have fixed your tent. It is much easier to lie on now.

The CZ-75. This is what Black Widow should have been carrying in The Avengers, not those goofy miniature Glocks that they gave her.

(Via)